His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
