just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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