This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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