your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
