Plan B is the new Plan A
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
