I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
