I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize