this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
