She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
