My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize