what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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