Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
