Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
