i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
