he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
