Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
