Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
