this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
