Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
