that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
