I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
