He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
how drunk are you?
Several
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
