So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
