I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
