Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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