ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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