Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
