I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize