the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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