Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
