I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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