So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
