this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
