I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
