Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Be still, my beating vagina.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
