i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
