had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize