he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize