Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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