Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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