just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
