I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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