I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
