you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
