Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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