She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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