brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
