Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
