you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
