11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
