My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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