My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
