We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
