i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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