she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
