i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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