I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
