do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
