I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
