This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
