So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
