i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
