So drunk its hurt
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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