Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
