Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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