i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
