dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
